Requiem for a Friend

Ann’s 85^th birthday was exactly a month ago on Thursday, the 22^nd of June.

The family celebrations were going to be on the following Sunday, Ann had told me with girlish delight and anticipation. It was also the happiness of a mother who knew that her children loved her dearly. I had gone two days ahead so as not to intrude on the family get-together. When I reached the front door, there she was – beaming, as usual, with unconcealed love that could be seen a mile away. Our affection was mutual.

The eleven red roses (odd numbered in the Slavic tradition) in the bouquet elicited the effusive delight that a million dollars would have brought forth from lesser mortals. And it was with near reverence that Ann received from me the two mementoes from Armenia that I gave her as a token birthday present: a miniature Armenian flag for her desk and the Lord’s prayer in Armenian on a silver scroll for the wall. She once again reminisced about the Armenian friends she had had during the brief sojourn in Germany before she arrived in the US to become an American citizen.

Ann smiled when I told her that the real birthday presents would come later. She rose to go to the next room and came back with two gifts for me, although the birthday was hers! Such was her love – giving more than receiving.

This was our first meeting after my return from Armenia the previous week and she wanted to hear about all my experiences of a month and half in that country. In my heart I thought, “What a wonderful thing it would be to take her with me to Armenia on my next trip.” Unfortunately, that is not to be.

Being the chef par excellence that she was, it was only natural that she would invite me to come back for dinner on a convenient evening in the next few days. Whenever she invited me to dinner, Ann would not only have an abundance of dishes on the table, but she would also always have food for me to take home.

After the meal we would sit with her husband Ray and talk, although it was excruciatingly frustrating for Ann after the aphasia that afflicted her following the stroke she had suffered some months earlier. Ann so much wanted to converse normally – to share details of her experiences both recent and past. But the aphasia played havoc with her verbal skills, oral and written, and all that came out was a jumbled combination of sounds that was nearly impossible to decipher. Nonetheless I enjoyed her company and my prayers when I returned home were for the gift of normal speech to return to Ann in a miraculous healing.

Alas! That last dinner did not happen. Smoke from the wildfires of Canada made me overcautious and kept me indoors in the next few days, much to my regret now. Ann messaged me on three consecutive days, but I kept putting off my visit for later.

Then came the bombshell from her daughter in an SMS three weeks ago on the 1^st of July: “Momma had another stroke yesterday.” In the following days there was little good news. The prognosis of recovery and return home changed to transfer to a hospice. Even that was not to be.

Three weeks later, on the 19^th of July, Ann left on her glorious final journey that would put her travels from Ukraine, her birth-country, to Germany first and then to America in the shade, leaving me memories and the single photograph of us together taken when she was hale and hearty.

Fare thee well, Ann! I will love you always.

[To read a previous article on Anne, please click this link: https://www.abiealexander.com/a-ukrainian-thanksgiving/]